50 Easy Ways to Be a Fantastic Parent
We’ve gathered our all-time favorite nuggets of advice from our board of advisors in one outstanding article that will have a profound effect on your whole family.
There are no perfect parents, but there are plenty of things you can do that will make you a fantastic one. Throughout the year, our board of advisors—a brain trust of the best pediatric doctors, developmental experts, and educators in the country—shares the latest thinking about raising happy and healthy kids.
Now we’ve gathered our all-time favorite nuggets of advice in one place. Broadly speaking, this is what the experts say about how to be a good parent:
- Set limits
- Spend quality time with your kids
- Be a good role model
- Praise your kids
- Trust yourself
- Teach your kids social skills
- Teach gratitude
- Make meal time family time
- Say “I love you”
- Encourage physical activity
- Keep up with your kids’ routine health care
Read on to learn more about what this looks like in practice and how to put these expert tips to good use.
Set Smart Limits
Take charge. Children crave limits, which help them understand and manage an often confusing world. Show your love by setting boundaries so your kids can explore and discover their passions safely.
Don’t clip your child’s wings. Your toddler’s mission in life is to gain independence. So when they’re developmentally capable of putting their toys away, clearing their plate from the table, and dressing themselves, let them. Giving a child responsibility is good for their self-esteem (and your sanity!).
Don’t try to fix everything. Give young kids a chance to find their own solutions. When you lovingly acknowledge a child’s minor frustrations without immediately rushing in to save them, you teach them self-reliance and resilience.
Remember that discipline is not punishment. Enforcing limits is really about teaching kids how to behave in the world and helping them to become competent, caring, and in control.
Pick your battles. Kids can’t absorb too many rules without turning off and tuning out. Forget arguing about little stuff like fashion choices and occasional potty language. Focus on the things that really matter like no hitting, rude talk, or lying.
Create Your Own Quality Time
Play with your children. Let them choose the activity, and don’t worry about rules. Just go with the flow and have fun. That’s the name of the game.
Read books together every day. Get started when they’re a newborn; babies love listening to the sound of their parents’ voices. Cuddling up with your child and a book is a great bonding experience that will set them up for a lifetime of reading.
Schedule daily special time. Let your child choose an activity where you hang out together for 10 or 15 minutes with no interruptions. There’s no better way for you to show your love.
Encourage family time. The greatest untapped resource available for improving the lives of our children is time with their parents. Kids with engaged parents do better in school, problem-solve more successfully, and generally cope better with whatever life throws at them.
Make warm memories. Your children will probably not remember anything that you say to them, but they will recall the family rituals—like bedtimes and game night—that you do together.
Be a Good Role Model
Be the role model your children deserve. Kids learn by watching their parents. Modeling appropriate, respectful, good behavior works much better than telling them what to do.
Fess up when you blow it. This is the best way to show your child how and when they should apologize.
Live a little greener. Show your kids how easy it is to care for the environment. Waste less, recycle, reuse, and conserve each day. Spend an afternoon picking up trash around the neighborhood.
Always tell the truth. It’s how you want your child to behave, right?
Kiss and hug your partner in front of the kids. Your partnership is the only example your child has of what an intimate relationship looks, feels, and sounds like. So it’s your job to set a great standard.
Respect parenting differences. Support your co-parent’s basic approach to raising kids—unless it’s way out of line. Criticizing or arguing with your partner will do more harm to your relationship and your child’s sense of security than if you accept standards that are different from your own.
Know the Best Ways to Praise
Give appropriate praise. Instead of simply saying, “You’re great,” try to be specific about what your child did to deserve the positive feedback. You might say, “Waiting until I was off the phone to ask for cookies was hard, and I really liked your patience.”
Cheer the good stuff. When you notice your child doing something helpful or nice, let them know how you feel. It’s a great way to reinforce good behavior so they’re more likely to keep doing it.
Gossip about your kids. Fact: What we overhear is far more potent than what we are told directly. Make praise more effective by letting your child “catch” you whispering a compliment about them to Grandma, Dad, or even their teddy.
Give yourself a break. Hitting the drive-through when you’re too tired to cook doesn’t make you a bad parent.
Trust your gut. No one knows your child better than you. Follow your instincts when it comes to their health and well-being. If you think something’s wrong, chances are you’re right.
Just say “no.” Resist the urge to take on extra obligations at the office or become a constant volunteer at your child’s school. You will never, ever regret spending more time with your children.
Don’t accept disrespect from your child. Never allow your child to be rude or say hurtful things to you or anyone else. If they do, tell them firmly that you will not tolerate any form of disrespect.
Pass along your plan. Mobilize the other caregivers in your child’s life—your co-parent, grandparents, daycare teacher, babysitter—to help reinforce the values and the behavior you want to instill. This includes everything from saying thank you and being kind to not whining.
Don’t Forget to Teach Social Skills
Ask your children three “you” questions every day. The art of conversation is an important social skill, but parents often neglect to teach it. Get a kid going with questions like, “What was your favorite part of school today?”; “What did you do at the party you went to?”; or “Where do you want to go tomorrow afternoon?”
Teach kids this bravery trick. Tell them to always notice the color of a person’s eyes. Making eye contact will help a hesitant child appear more confident and will help any kid to be more assertive and less likely to be picked on.
Acknowledge your kid’s strong emotions. When your child’s meltdown is over, ask them, “How did that feel?” and “What do you think would make it better?” Then listen to them. They’ll recover from a tantrum more easily if you let them talk it out.
Raise Grateful Kids
Show your child how to become a responsible citizen. Find ways to help others all year. Kids gain a sense of self-worth by volunteering in the community.
Don’t raise a spoiled kid. Keep this thought in mind: Every child is a treasure, but no child is the center of the universe. Teach them accordingly.
Talk about what it means to be a good person. Start early: When you read bedtime stories, for example, ask your toddler whether characters are being mean or nice and explore why.
Explain to your kids why values are important. The simple answer: When you’re kind, generous, honest, and respectful, you make the people around you feel good. More important, you feel good about yourself.
Set up a “gratitude circle” every night at dinner. Go around the table and take turns talking about the various people who were generous and kind to each of you that day. It may sound corny, but it makes everyone feel good.
Leave a ReplyWant to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!